Looking Good, Doing Bad

So what is it that I don't like about female beauty standards nowadays, apart from the asinine assumption some people seem to hold that I "owe" them to be pleasing to their eyes because clearly, as a female, I don't have a personality or an agenda of my own, apart from getting someone to marry and then never ever leave the house again?

First, it steals valuable time.
What you could do: meet friends, educate yourself, enjoy your hobbies, basically do thinks you like.
What you do: get rid of every hair, except on your head. There, it must not look greasy because women are always squeaky clean. Take care of your nails, your awful body odors, ruin your vulva and vagina with perfumed lotions or vaginal douches, take care your clothes are clean and show what you got (or don't). Change them every day.
Don't look too androgynous or you'll get cat-called. Don't look too sexy or you'll get cat-called. Take care of those wrinkles – if they are not there yet, they will be soon and you'll get unfuckable. Take care of those pores. Well okay, every human being has them like everyone has a head, but if these photo-shopped models don't show any, you shouldn't either.
Put on some make-up but not too much. But, don't kid yourself, no matter what you do, people will comment on your appearance anyway because, basically, you'll never be good enough, if you were not born with a penis and have it to this day and make it clear for everyone by your virile behavior.
It works like: you spent all this time conforming to the patriarchy, but you are still female, so we will police you anyway.
You'll might think you'll spare the time and just do as you please? Wrong. Because, in this case, you are not conforming to gender stereotypes and trying to take advantage of male privilege although, clearly, you are not allowed to because: vagina.
And having an opinion and state it? Please, you are taking up space lady and this is forbidden. The guy next to you spreading his legs? Totally okay. You spreading your legs in a comfortable position? Disgusting! All the boys in your class distributing their stuff in a wide circle around them? Cool. Your stuff lying around you? Lady, don't you know how to keep your table clean and how rude is it anyway not to give your space up for others? The guy in the tram with his backpack on, right in your face? It's cool. No one's bothered, obviously. You with your backpack on? Eh, girl, what cha thinkin' you're doing there? Disturbing everyone around you, hitting people and generally demanding more space than where your body ends!?

Sooo, second. You cannot fight. It's as simple as that. What are you going to do with your pointy shoes, your tight skirt and your thin clothes that can't protect you from injuries? If you must run you have to kick of your shoes. If you must kick, you have to let your skirt rip.
But then again, from a very young age, you were told you should not ruin your clothes. And nowadays, you digested it so well that you feel uncomfortable to leave them behind, destroy them or make them dirty at all. Maybe you'll hesitate because you are worried that people will be able to see under your skirt.
Actually, you have to adjust your movements to your clothes all the time. There are places you can't go, big steps you can't make, maybe you are frightened to take the stairs or terrified someone could take a picture of your underwear. Because well, that's normal, right? We know it happens.

Nevertheless, let me tell you: it's not your fault. The society is fucked up, not you. If you want to wear "female" clothes, it's okay. If you want to wear "male" clothes, it's okay. If you like an ambivalent style, that's okay, too.
If you get cat-called, assaulted, leered at, called names, if you are treated patronizingly or downright abused: it's not your fault. It's not because of what you are, it's not because of what you wore, it's not because of what you did, it's not because of what you said.
It's because people that treat you that way never thought about what society is doing to us. They never reflected their privileges, they didn't manage to work through their childhood wounds and in the end, they didn't realize that you don't fucking mistreat and hurt other people, no matter what fucking happened to you.
You were there, they were there. They did something fucked up. This is not your responsibility.

Edit: I was partly inspired by "Beauty Bites Beast" written by Ellen Snortland. It's a good read although having issues with victim blaming.

Trackback URL:

Aktuelle Beiträge

Böse Männer...
Alien 3 kenne ich nicht, aber die Masche mit der einen...
Mia (Gast) - 8. Jul, 23:28
"Filme und Medien spiegeln...
"Filme und Medien spiegeln nur die Ansichten der Gesellschaft...
Zweisatz - 6. Jun, 20:44
Die Serie Orphan black...
Die Serie Orphan black ist ein Beispiel, dass es nicht...
Anna (Gast) - 6. Jun, 17:25
Leicht ist es nicht
Ich und zwei meiner Kolleginnen haben im Februar auch...
Onyx (Gast) - 31. Mai, 17:32
Bin froh, dass auch anderen der Sexismus in der Serie...
Jup (Gast) - 22. Jan, 01:09

User Status

Du bist nicht angemeldet.




Online seit 2917 Tagen
Zuletzt aktualisiert: 8. Jul, 23:28


vi knallgrau GmbH

powered by Antville powered by Helma

Creative Commons License

xml version of this page
xml version of this page (with comments)

twoday.net AGB